Being in relationships of any type and living with Autism and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a wild ride and appear even more wild to those on the outside of them. For me it is all about acceptance, trust, and respect, this isn't just about romantic partners but friendships too. I did not have examples of what healthy relationships looked like growing up, yes my father and the bitch have been married for a long time, but trust me, their relationship is built on a house of cards. I had to learn the hard way what a good marriage looks like, what true friends were or that speaking ill of family and friends behind their backs was wrong.
Most of my friends are Veterans, however I have civilian friends too. I look for people that accept others for who they are, those that treat everyone with respect, and those I can trust, and will tell me when my family tries to contact them and willing to tell them to fuck off. It wasn't until I got to the Marine Corps that I finally met others who were not manipulated by my family. On my own, I have been able to make and maintain relationships the past 25 years, with peers who were accepting, trustworthy, and treat everyone with respect.
I make it a point when I travel to reach out to those that live in the area so we can catch up in person. I believe in making an effort when I can, because of this my wife and I were able to become "Angel" investors in Ethos-Space.com (the first energy company for the Moon). Funny moment with this one. I asked my brother, father, and my Marine Corps buddy if they wanted to invest, and finally got told how fucking stupid I was by my brother. He thought I had made it up, was fake, etc, so when my father told him how that I had invested and how real it was and at a family event at my brothers home (the event where I confronted my abuser at his house) and that I had invested, guess who had the look of stupidity on his face. I served with the CEO and we have kept in touch over the years, got tours when he worked for Elon, hung out when we were both in D.C. for different reasons, took our kids to LEGO land, and played at the beach until the sun went down and kids passed out. Those of us that invested have a legit shot at becoming SPACE money wealthy because of this. It is important to find "your people" and maintain those relationships.
I look for those qualities in romantic relationships too as long as my intention is romance and not lust. If I find you physically attractive but your character sucks, you will get used and played by me. My brother wasn't the greatest role model with women at all (for those that know him now, sure, as a teenager and young adult, no) and my father's only talk with me about romance & sex growing up was "cock sucking lips" and some people in high school bullied and played jokes, so it was hard to trust and know what was appropriate, I struck out a lot. Thankfully, my Marine Corps buddies actually taught me how to court a woman as well as womanize.
The first time my ex-wife tried talking to me about my Borderline (my brother told her) was in Kansas, and since I felt she was doing the bitch's work (I would have fought for our marriage if it wasn't for this), it was time for a divorce and to cut all ties. Then another ex told me she was warned to not be around me and my borderline. One of the reasons I quit using social media was because my brother was reaching out to romantic partners and doing thing the bitches work for her.
One of the first things I did when I met my wife was tell her about my mental illnesses and guess what she did, she told me about hers. We both realized the other one is going to find out, so if they run let them, if they stay pursue them. We have had our share of issues, however we always work through them. I have had to protect her from the bitch abuser and my brother.
The bitch wanted to have a "private" talk with her after my suicide attempt so I let "RAGE" come out and dare her to try. After my brother came over to help me with a project he asked if I was going to tell her about my disabilities, so I told him it was none of his business and if they meddled in my relationship this time it would be World War 3. It is important to find someone who will accept the good and bad in you. Living with these disabilities it is only a matter of time until the good and bad come out, so be proactive and communicate with your partner.
Common issues with BPD is the fear of abandonment, big emotions, and impulsivity. I learned a lot from my divorce about being alone and getting over my fear of abandonment. To this day I still have what appears to be big emotional reactions, I am always going to have these, sometimes they are funny, sometimes scary, but to those that take the time to get to know me, you will realize its just me being me and I mean no harm. For those new to BPD, impulsivity usually refers to drinking, drugs, sex, and gambling. I quit drinking years ago after an auto-immune diagnoses, I use THC in social settings (I am a LOT of fun when impaired), I still have the urge for lustrous sex, and there is only one scenario I will gamble (single deck blackjack, one on one against a dealer, only a few tables left in America) none of them have been issues in my marriage or friendships.
I think it is safe to say having a relationship of any sort with Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism is incredibly hard. It requires a ton of communication, self-reflection and you have to be brutally honest with yourself if you want to grow. It is okay if not everyone likes you, I don't give a fuck who likes me, I know some people do and some don't all for different reasons. As hard as it might be, don't be afraid to cut people out of your life that don't respect you, it is called a boundary.
For those who have accepted people with disabilities and made them feel welcome, thank you. For those like my abuser, Rita Ross, rot in hell. Writing this post makes me question why my brother felt the need to meddle in my life, and why my father has never forced her to stop meddling in mine. Trust me, they don't like me meddling in theirs, another double standard.
My new affiliate product will be here next Friday, my gaming reactions are going to be way funnier. ChatGPT is a great assistant if you need one!
Thank you,
Mikey