Dear World,
I do want Friends and Family in my life. Those who have been honest to me are always welcome. What this really is for some people who know me, is an integrity check, and I will offer this to anyone, let bygones be bygones. I can pick up with anyone from my life, and continue our story at any moment. It happens all the time for me, because I make it happen. I put in the effort to have relationships, but the way my mind works is like this, friends and family have to be honest, if you can be honest and I can trust you to understand me, and you can trust I am joking and its okay to give me the "Whoa big fella" like Derek does.
I have cues like this with all sorts of people, if you want to be friends with me, we can all develop our own unique cue, and it becomes more evidence that I am not crazy, because crazy people, let alone "normal" people can not do what I have done for my Family and Friends. You are all my Family and Friends, my Mom too. You have to follow the rules, we all do, it is what makes us civil, however we must also be understanding.
I have even been emailing updates to a retired Chief Justice that is highly respected. He never once said stop, don't do this, or set any boundary, and my messages were short and clear. It at least proves the consistency of my communication. I can explain how there is a connection and why I chose to communicate with him. I have no idea what he thinks of me, he has never responded.
Laugh at the red light all you want, but I have been open and have been able to explain all the different holistic therapies I use and why, as well as teach different components of them to my Family and Friends. I taught my Sister how to do the Wim Hof breathing during COVID, when her daughter was going to Krav Maga and I was the one paying for he to go because I saw the value of what that does to empower young women.
I let you challenge me, and I give you different versions of this, and some people argue with me on Facebook and then block me. I know you all are here to help. I know you click the links, I know you show up, I know what this does. The metrics are for me. I use them as a feel good tool to look at all the GOOD I am doing. Metrics make me happy. You all have seen me talk every time about the growth in the numbers, it goes up, and then fades away because I fade away, then I come back. This is also symbolic to how people with bi-polar, borderline, and other mental illness experience a "roller coaster" of emotions. I have turned off all of the metrics when I stream though and I am just doing my thing, I only see the chat box now, so I am not as distracted with staring at them.
I don't need to advertise, I know that. I have even emailed the news, reporters, and other media outlets several times asking for a press release. I want to call it good, but if she pushes this to trial, not only do you have ALL of this, but you have whatever is in that report from my Brother, I know he didn't let me down. No one has, and I have been clear about that this whole time, I have felt the LOVE and I delivered.
Make sure you ALL are taking time to properly digest this, and do what is best for you. I have shared plenty of ways to cope, and take care of these emotions. If anyone is struggling and need some advice on how to process any of this, let me know.
Thank you,
Mikey