I have a lot of questions about my identity, It feels like I am missing a piece of who I really am. I know the experiences I have had and the things I have accomplished. I was a decent football player in high school, and a decent wrestler (I got a partial scholarship offer to the University of Penn), and I could always tell I was different based on how everyone around me treated me. It was so insulting, and my whole life I felt like I have had to prove myself over and over to be accepted and I never am because people can't look past my disabilities. Do you have any idea what kind of strength and discipline it takes to listen to the bigots and not react or what it took to survive getting through five years of active duty service in the Marines, put myself through college and it has meant nothing to these people. Other families celebrate this type of perseverance and strength, but not mine.
I feel I was in an abusive guardianship and my abuser is the one who had sole control over me, so then who are my real parents? My biological son used to have photos of the serial killer "Mike Ross" on his social media, and I used to say "Mike Ross" over and over as a child, am I his son? I ordered a 23&me DNA test and I will be doing a live stream of the results. I should be getting them any day now. My Dad made a weird comment that stuck with me a while ago when I told him I was doing a DNA test, he said that "I have nothing to compare it to." Well what if my biological family has made theirs public? My "parents" took one of these test, both kept their results private.
I know who I am today, and who I will be the rest of my life, Mikey. Now that I have confronted my abuser I am able to focus on my advocacy work and as a hobby I will be seeking the truth about my history just for my own curiousity, after all I do have a history degree. I am an advocate, I am a husband, a father, a friend, Brother, and a gamer. I am proud of who I am. I am just curious is all.
Thank you,
Mikey