At Christmas when I tried standing up, my brother and father came over to my house and we had what I thought was a decent conversation about what I have been going through. I essentially explained that my streaming is protected by the First Amendment and it is just me using method acting to relive the emotions I had during the experiences I had, it is Art and Journalism at the same time or Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Press. They thought I was still feeling how I was acting, nope just me reliving it for the camera.
I could see the moment it clicked for them what was going on and realized that I am not mad, just showing the world what it is like living with this. They asked if I would ever stop and I said no and that she can come clean or be held accountable. I then had another panic attack that led to me being placed on an involuntary hold (as a precaution that I put in place years ago), and during this time I tried calling my father and my abuser to talk, and my father asked "what about the road rage in Arizona" or something to that effect. He had been trying to convince her that I was Mikey my whole life except around her, and that she needed to come clean, we agreed that the question about the road rage would be me telling her I was testing her (it was a flash to see how she would react), but I was too weak to explain it at the the time.
Back to the original conversation. They told me they didn't understand how I could be so forgiving of them, and that they were having a hard time being around me because they felt guilty. Since then my Brother has ghosted me, so I had to block him on tiktok to prevent him from having a good time at my expense. My father and the abuser had seen me a few times since I came home in February. I could see it on my father's face that he could tell what I was up to, he even asked about the cable I have running from the modem, that he knew the end was near for her.
By me standing up and doing the right thing, I have lost a family. Imagine how I felt my whole life trying to have a relationship with them just to be kicked to the curb for reporting her to the police. Ouch.
How many people with disabilities are stuck in this very situation? Where if they stand up to their abusers they lose the people they care about.
Looks like its just me & Mark going deep sea fishing. Oh and I got my t-shirt!
Thank you,
Mikey