The first superpower I mentioned people with Borderline Personality Disorder having is the ability to persevere. Another superpower we have, along with a lot of people with Autism, is knowing what is inappropriate, and when to be inappropriate. Those of us with these disabilities are all intelligent enough to know when it is appropriate to be inappropriate, what usually offends people is when we cross some imaginary line that changes with each social setting.
An example of that is with my Veteran community, there is almost no joke that is too dark. However with people like my abuser, almost every word out of my mouth is deemed inappropriate. Then we got everything in between. In case you are wondering how we know what is appropriate or not, we have high IQ's, and we pay attention to everything. Please keep in mind, what is appropriate or inappropriate varies by people, cultures, social settings, its not just YOUR perspective, plenty of people are too stupid to realize that too.
I can picture my abuser saying "if you know what is appropriate or not, why are you inappropriate?" My answer for someone like her is I simply don't fucking care about your feelings on the matter. Around people I like or respect its a matter of trying to entertain and make them laugh, or what it is also called a joke, and yes sometimes jokes can go too far, and that means its a bad joke.
I dated a woman with an Autistic son, and we will call him Larry. One year, I accompanied her and Larry on a cross country flight to New York. When we boarded the plane, there was a lady refusing to move out of a seat she didn't pay for and sit in her assigned seat, this caused a delay in the boarding. Larry was about 10/11 years old at the time, the plane was packed, and this bitch was holding him up from sitting down. His anxiety rose to the point he finally yelled "For the love of God lady, go sit down and shut the hell up." The entire airplane laughed. Why did no one else say something? The answer is because it would have been inappropriate, and yet people reward him with laughing at his inappropriateness, thus now reinforcing this behavior moving forward.
Like Larry, I will have no problem speaking up in any setting and saying what needs to be said wether it is appropriate or not. My problem comes when I cross the line of making people laugh to feeling uncomfortable with their feelings, and then comes the "we don't want you around if you are going to act like that" bullshit from people like my family, but you will laugh at the other inappropriate stuff.
This is the part of society that frustrates me, the treatment we receive regarding our inappropriateness. Sometimes there are people purposely "feeding" us to keep us going because they think its funny to hear us say tits and ass (or any other childish antic), grow the fuck up you inappropriate fucks. See what I did there. Other times we get carried away, and then treated like shit for it and that is inappropriate to do because you laughed up until we crossed your personal line. If you are rewarding us by laughing at our inappropriateness and then turning around and punishing us for it, it becomes a conflicting message to our brains, For us its yes or no, so you either laugh at the inappropriate or not, and neither case gives you permission to treat us like shit.
I have always been myself in regards to speaking my mind, the bigger, stronger, and more articulate I got the more confident I got in speaking up. I don't care if other people find me appropriate or not, or find my blog appropriate or not. I find how I have been treated, and how others with disabilities have been treated to be inappropriate.
I guess my whole rant tonight is for the simple minded people to realize that what YOU deem to be appropriate or inappropriate does not speak for everyone. There is no situation where you treat someone with disabilities like shit for being inappropriate. Keep in mind it sends conflicting messages to people with these disabilities, and its inappropriate to laugh at the inappropriate, but if you do laugh, don't be a d-bag that punishes us for going too far. In my eyes you just became a hypocrite. Instead, just don't laugh at us if it is not funny, trust me we are paying attention.
Sometimes our inappropriateness is how we cope with our issues, sometimes its us trying to be funny. For me, its me being me and none of your business why, deal with it.
Thank you,
Mikey