I am going to jump into the very touchy subject of ABUSIVE GUARDIANSHIPS.
Now this is going to be a two fold piece, my entre life has felt like I have been in one, I will not go into why with this post though. That feeling I have could be the paranoia of the Borderline Personality Disorder because it feels a lot like my abuser is physically afraid of me and using her position of power to try and silence me, yet I am the one who has been afraid of her my whole life. In fact I just want to be left alone and live the rest of my life as Mikey having the fun I missed as a child, while upholding my adult responsibilities of course.
The symptom of paranoia makes me feel as if she is going to make an effort to have me committed because I do not want her in my life. I need time to fully heal, and right now the way I feel is I do not want here around me. Now maybe that feeling will change over time and Ill want her in my life. Let me ask all of you, if you were in my situation would you want to be around people who have done this to you your whole life?
Let that sink in, she would rather have me committed than to be happy living as Mikey. She is trying to shift the guilt and shame she is feeling by thinking if I am committed then my accusations will be false. I have said this story over and over for decades to people, it hasn't changed.
The reason why I share my personal story again is because there are a lot of people who are in my situation of have it way worse than I do, and it is hard to spot and identify because when we are ourselves society says we are inappropriate, but I thought we were supposed to get accommodations for our disabilities?
The 1st Amendment guarantees the freedom of expression, it says nothing about being appropriate or not, so if we are not breaking the law, why are so many people so hell bent on making us change? My RIGHTS do not end where others feelings begin, plenty of you make me uncomfortable too.
I feel I am in an abusive guardianship and ready for the court battle to end it, or is it the paranoia of all those years of living like this making me just not trust her? Now imagine that feeling of paranoia when a panic attack sets in. To be clear I do feel that way about her, but I am not paranoid in the sense I obsess about, its just something to be prepared for.
It also feels like she has been using that as leverage over other family members to prevent them from helping me. I have already put into motion my defense and strategy when I confided to the authorities after my suicide attempt in 2020 as a precaution.
Do you allow people in your life you don't trust?
Thank you,
MIkey
There is a great book about abusive guardianships if you would like to read more about them, by an gentleman named "Rob Wipond" (link to book).